A rather privileged perspective. Software engineer, tech in general, is a new and unique sort of job. Knowledge workers who can work out of any office, even remotely from home, is a very new thing. Throughout history, even the most educated and able had to locate themselves near the worksite. Doctors need to be near patients, lawyers the courts. Even congressmen used to live in dormitories to stay in DC.
My point: You job does define you because, for the vast majority of people, one's job dictates where and how you live. It is a rarefied elite that can so easily disconnect their work from their outside lives. Tell a farmer about work-life balance when if he sleeps in, animals will suffer. Tell a cop that her doing graveyard shifts wrestling drunk people doesn't dictate the flow of her daily life. Tell a soldier that moving home ever other year doesn't impact his long-term social connections. Normal people have long been defined by their jobs, and it still holds today. Calling out such ties as unenlightened or to be avoided sticks a finger in the eye of the billions for whom their job is their life.
My point: You job does define you because, for the vast majority of people, one's job dictates where and how you live. It is a rarefied elite that can so easily disconnect their work from their outside lives. Tell a farmer about work-life balance when if he sleeps in, animals will suffer. Tell a cop that her doing graveyard shifts wrestling drunk people doesn't dictate the flow of her daily life. Tell a soldier that moving home ever other year doesn't impact his long-term social connections. Normal people have long been defined by their jobs, and it still holds today. Calling out such ties as unenlightened or to be avoided sticks a finger in the eye of the billions for whom their job is their life.